BT Complaint – Amusing Web Transcript

This BT phoneline complaint is provided as a rather amusing web transcript between a BT customer and a BT customer service representative. 

Dear BT Complaints

We were with talktalk for years, until our telephone line went faulty 6 weeks ago. After 4 weeks we quit talktalk, and signed up with BT. They confirmed we would have a service on the 7th April, and sent us the welcome pack and router. I expected they would pick up on the fault and fix it, but no such luck. Finally they arranged to send an engineer on the 12th. They failed that appointment. After many frustrating calls on my mobile, they arranged another appointment on the 14th. They failed that one too. More phone calls to no end, with no information forthcoming. Finally I went online to chat with a rep. Below is the amusing transcript of our conversation. It should provide your readers with a laugh, and give them reason to pause for thought. Trouble is I don’t think any of the other providers are any better! Are they?

BT Complaint Web Transcript

Christopher: Hi, my name is Christopher. Thanks for your information. I’m just checking this now and I’ll get back to you in a moment.

Christopher: Please bear with me while I speak to the orders team

Christopher: Is your telephone line working?

Christopher: Hello?

Roger Malone: no it is not

Roger Malone: We were with talktalk, and the line went faulty 6 weeks ago. After 4 weeks I ditched them for breach of contract, and signed up with BT. You said my line woulf go live on the 7th. The same fault is still there, no dial tone, and intermittant internet access,(perhaps an hour a week.) An engineer was supposed to call monday 8am – 1pm. No show, no phone call, nothing. Re-arranged after much annoying calls to you, for today, 8am – 1pm. No show! more expensive calls to you on my mobile, no information forthcoming, nothing. It would appear your service is no better than talktalk! Having second thoughts about BT!!

Roger Malone: Are you there? Is anything happening?

Christopher: I’m afraid an engineer appointment could not be booked because the order to provide broadband has not completed yet on our system. I am speaking to the orders team now to try get this order completed so that an engineer appointment can be booked.

Roger Malone: An appiontment was booked, twice. Both were no shows! ref vol011-48592?????? (hidden for security purposes). Tom at fault repair made the last one, I have the details on my answerphone.

Christopher: There did not go out to the property due to problems with this order

Christopher: which I am trying to solve now

Roger Malone: Why was the live date set at 7th April if the order was not completed, and why was I sent a welcome pack and router?

Christopher: because error didn’t happen until after the order was submitted and we could not see that this error was going to happen.

Roger Malone: order no 4778??????? (for security purpose we have hiden this information)
ref ajmaa4480989 Is this not an order number?

Christopher: yes it is

Roger Malone:
Here is the text of an e-mail confirming an engineers visit…
( Please remember that we’re coming to visit you on 12/04/2011 between 8am and 1pm at 9 address (hidden for security purposes)

Please note: we’ll provide a working service up to and including the main socket in your house. If your problem isn’t with your BT service, you might need to pay a £130.00 repair charge. So it’s worth checking your own equipment before the visit and cancelling the visit if you fix things.

For advice on how to check your equipment, including a short video on the checks being made, go to

The engineer might check things at your local exchange on the way to your home so might arrive at any time within your appointment slot.

During their visit, they’ll discuss your problem and make sure you’ve got a working service into your main phone socket.

To change or cancel this visit, go to Please let us know by 2pm the day before so that we can let the engineer know.

Thanks for choosing BT.

Best wishes,
Warren Buckley
Managing Director, Customer Service

Christopher: That order will be completed within the next 24-48 hours.

Roger Malone: What about this e-mail for the monday appointment

Christopher: Which Monday?

Roger Malone: monday 12th

Christopher: Obviously it cannot be kept as it is now the 14th

Roger Malone: you’re missing the point Chris. The e-mail I have just sent you a copy of clearly is confirming an appointment for an engineer to visit on monday 12th. How can that be if the order was not completed?

Christopher: I don’t know

Christopher: That is something you would need to ask the faults department

Roger Malone: Does anybody at BT know? What about Warren Buckley?

Christopher: It is a robotic email that is sent automatically

Roger Malone: Warren Buckley is a robot?

Roger Malone: beep beep – take me to your leader!

Christopher: No the email was generated by a robot once we submitted the appointment request but when it when through to fulfil the appointment it could not be completed due to the open order on your account

Roger Malone: So why did someone not do me the courtesy of phoning or e-mailing me to let me know. I stayed in all day, and wasted £££s on wasted calls!

Christopher: I am sorry you were not contacted

Christopher: again that is something you would need to ask the faults team

Roger Malone: So am I. What does Robot Warren have to say? How can I contact the faults team withour phoning this stupid number and wading through mindless options menus that ask me for an account number that I do not have? 03301234151

Christopher: It is against protocol but I will give you your account number?

Christopher: GB093????? (hidden for security purposes)

Christopher: I would advise that you leave it for 48 hours, enough time for this order to close, and then contact the faults team.

Roger Malone: Thank you. What about a normal phone number for the faults team, or an e-mail?

Christopher: 0800 800 151

Roger Malone: That’s not a normal number, it’s going to cost me a fortune on a mobile to wade through the mindless menu’s

Roger Malone: That’s not a normal number, it’s going to cost me a fortune on a mobile to wade through the mindless menu’s

Christopher: you can call them on 03301234151 to get a cheaper rate if using a mobile

Roger Malone: That’s the same system. How can I get through to Tom directly?

Christopher: I can call you and transfer you through but there is no point raising a fault now as the order is still open.

Roger Malone: The fault is already raised, I just gave you the reference, vol011-48592543461. I am no nearer to finding out why two appointments were made and missed, or when I will have the service I signed up for. Is there anybody out there who can help me? Is there intelligent life on planet BT? (Don’t take that personally Chris, no offence meant, I’m just totally freaked out by this farce

Christopher: I have told you why the appointments were cancelled

Christopher: It is because of the open order that is still on the account

Christopher: The faults team cannot do anything until this order completes

Christopher: Is that any clearer?

Roger Malone: Yes, but you have not explained why the order is not completed, or why appointments were made in spite of that, or why I was not informed of the cancellationsQ!

Christopher: It
Christopher: Is
Christopher: A
Christopher: Error

Roger Malone: Beep – I – understand – beep. Bt have their wires in a twist. What I want to know is when will I have a service?

Christopher: As far as BT is concerned telephone service was working from the 7th April.

Roger Malone: Oh, that’s alright then, I will just pick up the phone and call you about the fault on the line!

Christopher: Once the open order on the account closes in 48 hours and if your phone line is still not working, then you can contact the faults department on 0800 800 151 or 03301234151 or raise the fault online at

Roger Malone: Thanks Chris, it’s been fun chatting. I now know something that I did not before, namely that I will not have a service for 2 days more, and maybe not even after that for an unspecified period! Please convey my satisfaction at this state of affairs to the robot named Warren who told me I would have a service on the 12th.

Christopher: Will do
Christopher: Thanks for contacting BT. Bye

Roger Malone: beep beep bfn……….

Christopher has disconnected.


Think Roger felt a bit like this….like many BT customers….

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